Resource
It has been a tough week for many in my region. This area was hit with heavy rains and flash floods with major rivers flowing over the danger mark. I, however, was comfortably carrying my routine. I was taking my daily route and cursing the establishment over the lamentable state of roads and dragging traffic. Beyond that, life was going normally. I was listening to the blues in the rain and other things. Today I met a patient with a heavily infected wound needing urgent reconstructive surgery. The patient is a dependent on his son. At first, I was angry as to why did they delay seeking treatment. The wound could have been managed with non surgical treatments had they arrived early. The son told me they were stuck in a town which was badly hit with flash floods and rain. There was no way out and no hospital, clinic or dispensary accessible. It was only when the rain subsided that they were able to seek treatment. Due to the increased infection in the wound they were referred here. That is the cost of life. That is the lesson of humility and empathy reinforced again and again. We are living in a system of endless constraints. A system where arrangements are ramshackle and plan C is often replacing plan B. Once the checks and balances are in place and the patient reaches you. You better give your best and understand what they went through. I was lucky to have met great surgeons who worked with great skill to achieve what they considered the end goal. However, one stands out for his empathy and emotional intelligence. He deals with patients whom many couldn’t treat. Many of them are children with facial disfigurations and skeletal anomalies of the face. Many come from afar. He is not only consummate but apart from his cold analysis he takes the patient’s perspective. He wants to dress the wound himself in his thorough and consummate yet kind way. I try to remember his words and emulate his approach. I will never match his skill but I hope to match the emotional intelligence that he brings to every consultation.
The calmness of daily living
Living and thriving is hectic. We have evolved to ensure a surplus of resources in the future. We are practically living for the future. Retirement, kids’ education, compounded interest rates. The present is lost in a series of adrenaline rushes. Ringing alarm..kids to school.. late for work..rush hour traffic..workplace mayhem… What if we could remember the events that were calming..cooking and observing the onions as they caramelised. The satisfying sound of kids chewing healthy food. Suturing the wound for final closure with Chopin playing in the background. The mild sun and green on the ride back home. The welcoming arms of children.We are lost in adrenaline rushes. Our conversations are about the adversities and upheavals in our lives or in the lives of colleagues and friends. As we anticipate surgery, we look at the landmine of possible complications and discomforts. Yes, things go wrong. Nothing is safe. Lets give the process, the adverse effect, the wound the respect and time it deserves. However, don’t give it anything more than that. I don’t want to ruminate on uncertainties of health and agency. I don’t know what the future holds. I have given it due respect. I can’t plan for all fallouts. Que sera sera. I’d much rather live this life in a state of happy awareness of self and forging meaningful connections.
Instinct
As we move through lives, we tend to do somethings in a cycle. Our brain senses the “right pattern” to reach a desired outcome. As we do the same activity again and again, this pattern recognition is relegated to the subconscious. One day, when things are not exactly checking the right boxes, may be very minimally off, we decide to act. This is, I believe, instinct. The look of my child one random morning, even though everything is fine. The weird soft noise in the kitchen. The look of a patient even though the charts are fine. So this pattern recognition comes with the brain making a large cohort of observations on specific parameters over a long, long period of time. Therein lies the value of experience. The stereotypes of the young rook and the old hand. The weight of instinct is immense. Sometimes you are asking intelligent far more experienced men and women to act and intervene based on your instinct that things are awry. More often than not you will be shut down. The lives we live our sanitised grids with fixed data entries. Arbitrary concepts like instinct and empathy just don’t land. Sometimes the cold calculated prognostications chill your bone, especially when contrasted against the warm mess of human emotions. This is a very precarious tread for me . The weight is, indeed, immense. I want to hone instinct. I want to be observant. I love to observe deflections, the changes in body language. This is my only shot on this beautiful planet and I want to see and reflect on nature and its creations. Thankfully, I have a job that allows me to observe that most eloquent of species, Humans. One day, perhaps, I’ll also get to meet the lizards, turtles and finches of Galapagos. Quis hic locus, Quae regio, quae mundi plaga.
3 weeks to Independence
What a wonderful day here! Speckled clouds and a cool breeze. I am sure it was a much better version of this day in 1947. There are many things to learn from our shared past but arguably the lesson to refresh is that of the struggle to reach independence. Society tells us to climb up ladders of economy and societal hierarchy but is it really a ladder? Life is a series of struggles for most. It seems that most of our time is a balance between two or more tasks that clamour for our attention. If life is a calm ocean of time at your disposal then be kind for the rest of us aren’t as lucky. Many of my patients are women suffering from depression arising from poor self regard. They have come to seek surgery because they tried everything else including psychiatric consults. Some came to me saying that the first consultant said things are okay. These are the women juggling work, children, family and themselves. It took a lot of their grit to come to me. I am thankful to them for considering me part of the solution. As I take these patients through surgery, the process is driven, it aims at reaching anatomical endpoints safely. In the time before surgery I can see the anxiety on their faces. Some are hiding it in faux bravado, some are overtly anxious but all are considering and reconsidering this decision of undergoing aesthetic surgery. Aesthetic surgery is not routine surgery. It doesn’t take you out of your pain and misery in the conventional sense. In our society, seeking a doctor’s opinion whilst you are healthy enough to lead your life , look after your kids and do your work is quite frankly unbelievable for a majority. Then comes a day, three weeks later. The body has regained its physiological equilibrium after the stress of surgery. The sutures are settled. She is walking about.The swelling is minimal. That is a wonderful day. I can see that expression on their faces that it was not such a bad decision after all. She can finally move on. All efforts are to achieve this day of independence.
Peddler’s Burden
What is the idea behind Plastic Surgery? It came out of war. It was developed to beg and borrow from the healthy places in our body to makeup for form lost to disease and injury. What is Plastic surgery today. It is still those things but an idea has crept up that one can make oneself better. What is better? Here I am peddling breast reduction, breast augmentation, abdominal reduction and sculpting, nose surgery, facelifts and what not. With this satchel of wares on my shoulder, I carry an intangible burden. The burden of not trying to convince you that one of my wares is the only thing you need to “fix” you. Have we reached too much , too many, too soon? I miss the days of silence, birdsong and chatter. The blue of this screen seems to tell you that you can be better. You can get a fix. Learn to simply walk away. You are your only judge, but don’t judge yourself in a hall of mirrors. If your identity seems to overpower you to the extent of lassitude remember you are an elaborate and intricate speck of dust on an elaborate and intricate speck of dust in the vastness of observable universe. The wares are here but they don’t fix you. They are here for you to forget about self and move on. Enjoy the things that matter.